Welcome back to Talks talks, everyone. I'm Elizabeth, and as always, I'm joined by James, Samantha, and Jack. Today, we're diving into a topic that's, well, a bit like looking in a cracked mirror—growing up with narcissistic parents. And if you’re wondering if this episode is about you, don’t worry, we’re not sending invoices for childhood meals—yet.I mean, honestly, if my parents ever tried to bill me for all the fish fingers I ate as a kid, I’d be bankrupt. But, jokes aside, narcissistic parenting is, uh, it’s a real thing. It’s not just about being a bit self-absorbed, is it? It’s about control, gaslighting, guilt-tripping—like, you bring home a 90% on your exam and they say, “Why not 100?”Exactly, James. And that quote from the outline really stuck with me: “With a narcissist, love is a mirror—you only exist if you reflect what they want to see.” That’s so real. It’s like, your whole identity gets wrapped up in making them happy, and if you don’t, suddenly you’re the villain in their story.Yeah, and it’s sneaky, too. You start second-guessin’ yourself all the time. I mean, I grew up with folks who weren’t exactly narcissists, but there was a lotta that “I sacrificed everything for you” stuff. Makes you feel like you owe ‘em your whole life, right?Oh, totally. I remember family gatherings where I felt like I had to be perfect. Like, if I wasn’t the golden child, I’d get the cold shoulder. It’s exhausting. And, uh, I think a lot of people listening probably know that feeling—never quite good enough, always walking on eggshells.And yet, so many people avoid therapy. Why do you think that is? I mean, as we touched on in our last episode about parenting styles, there’s still this stigma, isn’t there? People will pray for you, but not pay for therapy. It’s almost like seeking help is seen as a betrayal of the family.Absolutely. There’s fear, there’s shame, and sometimes it’s just cultural. Therapy can feel like airing dirty laundry. But honestly, therapy isn’t betrayal—it’s freedom. It’s about breaking that cycle, not disrespecting your parents.Yeah, and sometimes folks just don’t know where to start. Or they think, “Well, my parents had it worse, so I should just tough it out.” But that’s not how healing works, y’know?So, let’s talk about the emotional toll. Growing up with a narcissistic parent can really mess with your self-esteem and your relationships. You end up feeling guilty for having your own life, or you become a people-pleaser just to keep the peace.Yeah, I’ll be honest, I’ve been there. Emotional exhaustion is real. I used to think if I just tried harder, I could make everyone happy. But all it did was drain me. Learning to set boundaries was, honestly, life-changing. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.And it’s not just about boundaries, is it? It’s about unlearning that idea that love has to be earned. Like, you were taught love with conditions, and now you have to figure out how to love yourself without all those strings attached. That’s tough.And let’s be real—narcissists in therapy? That’s about as rare as a cat apologizin’. I mean, it happens, but not often. Most of the time, it’s the folks around ‘em who end up in therapy, tryin’ to pick up the pieces.That’s so true, Jack. But for those who do seek help, it’s a long road. Therapy can help manage those traits, but it’s rare for a narcissist to actually change unless they’re, well, forced into it.And for the rest of us, it’s about healing. You’re not overreacting—you’re waking up. You’re allowed to heal, even if they never apologize. That’s something I wish I’d heard sooner.So, what can you actually do to start healing? I mean, it’s not like there’s a magic fix, but there are tools. Journaling, for one—just getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. It helps, even if it feels a bit awkward at first.And affirmations. I know it sounds a bit, well, cheesy, but saying things like “I am worthy of love without earning it” can really shift your mindset over time. I started doing that myself, and it’s made a difference. It’s about reminding yourself you don’t have to perform for love.And don’t forget about your support network. Find your people—the ones who get it, who don’t make you feel guilty for setting boundaries. Sometimes that’s friends, sometimes it’s a support group, sometimes it’s just one person who listens.And if you need a laugh, just remember—if your parent ever tries to send you an invoice for all the meals they gave you as a kid, just tell ‘em to send one to Santa too. I mean, come on, I was six! What was I supposed to do, Venmo them from the playground?That’s brilliant, Sam. And honestly, a little humor goes a long way when you’re dealing with heavy stuff like this. It’s okay to laugh about it—it doesn’t mean you’re not taking it seriously.Absolutely. And remember, you’re not alone. Healing is possible, even if it’s messy and slow. Protect your peace, speak your truth, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help.Yeah, and if you’re listenin’ and thinkin’ “Is it just me?”—it ain’t. There’s a whole lotta folks out there goin’ through the same thing. You got this.Thanks for joining us today, everyone. We’ll be back with more real talk, more laughs, and, hopefully, fewer childhood invoices.Take care, everyone. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and follow for more episodes. And, uh, protect your peace out there.Thank you all for listening. Until next time, stay blessed, and remember—you’re allowed to heal. Goodbye, everyone!See y’all next time. Take care, folks.

Episodes

When the Mirror Cracks